Borderline (old post)...

moved it from my 'frugal' blog as fits in better here. Borderline Personality Disorder and Me... keeping well: spend time with select family,friends,support groups,chats,online and locally,humor,distract with movie,tv,not triggering),volunteering,cooking nice meal,hugging self,compassion for self,others,prayer,dropping judgement,expectations,comparing,moping,self pity,manipulating,complaining,worry,hypersensitivity,letting go of,making peace with past,forgiving those who hurt us,accept,be honest,courageous,positive,grateful,remember where were before,(replace old negative statements in writing with positive ones,reduce anger,fear with reframing,working self down,staying in day,control addictions,ask for help,company,not enabling helps. All relative. Put inspiring quotes on walls. Peace,God bless,good luck to all of us. Work it, worth it,stronger,better than you know. Brain remembers,we learn in time not to repeat same mistakes and walk down different st. so don't fall in hole again. Is crux of it. Weren't loved so we have to love us. Don't accept others trash just because have issues,maybe poor,jobless,friendless as keep to self to avoid pain or not being understood. No.one deserves abuse. It ends here,now when we say enough and take back that child,person wounded,depend on selves not another as a crutch,learn to and receive love and walk. No shame,not to blame. We didn't cause this but responsible for what do with it. Is like a balloon. By doing techniques I gave you and do myself,we let a little air out of it at a time so suffering lessens and is bearable We are great and survivors. If you are still here,you are doing more right than wrong. Nothing wrong with us,more like what happened to us. Celebrate your survival. When you finally overcome this you are a miracle and learn to love yourself. No one can take that from you. Our journey inspires others to make the same as we fly on the backs of us pioneers just like geese taking turns leading,squawking,til we tire and let our sister,brother lead for a time til we reach our goals. Perfection is an illusion. We are ok right now as are,not defective.We need each other as we are part of a unique flock. We are not crazy but have been exposed to violence,etc. that made us function in maladaptive ways as we couldn't be direct to our abusers. When we find a safe place to live,take the right medicine,find a trauma therapist,meet other BPD peers,begin to use these tools above, the healing begins. Don't expect people who haven't lived this to understand and ask for advice as they can't give it to you. Is like we speak an unknown language. They can have empathy but they need to be in a group to deal with us. We are not bad just very misunderstood.

COARC will be helpin me..

at my place like what they call ILST services which is an independent living skills trainer. She will help me do things easier or teach me skills so can do them independently. Any help welcomed so looks like can stay now instead of being evicted to small motel room with dog and cats. Now need to get my money deposit mailed to me from there asap!

Mental Health Activism..

Lots of info and links,articles about mental illness,health,alternative treatment and human rights abuses and stories of survivors,people previously diagnosed with mental illness.

Have posted to my blog,health so ..

is not going to Dropahlics so can read posts there instead of here.

Didn't get disabled housing because..

present landlord gave a bad reference and place in Little falls unavailable so nowhere to go to now. Not sure why she'd do that as wants me out but then why did she not give back my security either? Makes no sense to me to stand in my way if I am trying to oblige her. Now looks like she is trying to sell the property as has a realtor dropping in next week to look at places. Guess is why she is getting new storm windows atleast on my place to make it look better. Doubt if I will ever get to enjoy them. She will replace them after she throws me in the street with my pets most likely,sweetie that she is.

Charles Stanley,

a Christian minister has a web site and here are some of his sermons broadcast on tv on Sundays in archives for a boost of faith and a pick me up for what ails you. Enjoy!

Court case dismissed..

No Spam Please. Thanks!

So then husband of Akama,maNaGER OF PROPERTY SAYS 'can't we get her out for not paying October rent?' Judge said can't advise them and suggested they get an attorney! hahah. I got a free one through legal aide. I knew enough to do that and I'm on disability and am supposed to have a head injury Their normal allegedly.I'm supposed to pay for having to move,put my things in storage,look for new housing constantly,have sheriffs,her,others drop by all hours and call to throw me out?! I have not enjoyed the place in atleast a year and even then not really as place was always a dump,unweatherized,charged top market price though,not mowed regularly,vermin in it and in walls,roof,water damage to walls,mold,making me sick,sinus infections constantly,no storm windows,wet leaves on lawn,unraked,unbagged,fell on,no smoke detectors,carbon monoxide detectors,had to have put in myself and so on..Landlord is a real slumlord and absentee like many here which depreciates property values and the neighborhood as they don't keep up the places. I will offer some money for rent to avoid eviction on grounds didn't pay rent but am asking for a rent reduction due to damages unrepaired yet landlord knows of them. She claims she needs to retake possession of her property to fix them. I guess everyone moves out when their roof needs fixing,windows replacement,insulation,rodents killed,mold right?! A tenant does have some rights and since I have exercised them is the real reason for my eviction as I don't kiss butt and agree with her and let her run me like all else does. Why should I pay top rent to live like this? I have to also as no place takes the pets I have and not giving them away,sorry. Also many landlords don't take section 8 or people on disability with no full time job. Rather discriminatory no?