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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Mental Health took Center stage..



I thought you'd find it interesting,especially the number of people with disorders and growing. Is important to get treatment yes but is also important to take the shame out of doing so and about having problems mentally. I know I tried to kick this myself in college as counseling center was in campus Hub and didn't want anyone to see me going there. I was embarrassed and also ignorant of what I had and why (due to abuse and neglect as a child,bullying and rejection from peers,being a crime victim). I thought I could just feel better if I faked it til made it. It didn't work as effected my functioning,even sleep patterns,was hard to concentrate with all the thoughts in my head,hard to recall things to learn,felt confused,lost and alone. Didn't see others going thru this as judged my insides against their outsides. Some just hide it better and seem to know how to mix with others to fit in and keep it to selves.

I had pastoral counseling from in my senior year of high school so could graduate despite moods. My grades had slumped. I felt though I could participate in class discussions by just sharing my thought and following discussions, I had a hard time learning anything for reasons mentioned earlier. I also didn't do much of my home work unless teacher really riled me into it. Mom threatened to send me to public school if didn't shape up. i didn't understand why I suddenly didn't want to do anything. I certainly didn't know it was physical due to chemical imbalance of serotonin in my brain. I also was shy but self out there as had to so was very nervous,awkward. Still am though I know they are just people. Some people are just plain mean but is their problem. I choose to ignore,avoid and not talk to them. If have to deal with them I don't personalize what they do or say. Just the way they are. I have some people around where I live like that. Is their problem as they lack compassion,are judgemental,angry as doing work hate and see me hanging around in yard even though have disabilities. Say something I can do. Will add on that another day as we know system is flawed..They don't see how fortunate they are that they can sustain employment. They make comments within ear shot about me. I have God though.l What do they have? Just themselves. I wouldn't want to live that way or be them. I try to keep the focus on me and not let it get to me eventhough they can't mind their business. I choose not to get angry about it. The Lord will take care of them. and I pray for them too.

I went to church last night and joined with other believers. Had dinner there too. Had a nice time singing,praising and thanking the Lord too. I use it like a support group as don't have one but a mental health chat which is not the same.

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